Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
