I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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