Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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