Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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