a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
