I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We just shotgunned beers for America
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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