why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
