RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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