is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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