The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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