I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
