he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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