You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize