we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
