Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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