i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize