I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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