it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
