What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
