Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize