I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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