Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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