i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
