i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i came on her dog
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
