Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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