Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
