My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
