Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
