Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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