I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
