I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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