there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
