I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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