So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
