I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
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