Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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