i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
