I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
