He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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