I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
