I could have mohawked her pubes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize