forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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