i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
