I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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