i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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