Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
