so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just google imaged poop.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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