what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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