hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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