He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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