need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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