Pregnant stripper...not hot.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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