Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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