forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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