so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
