She's JV to your varsity
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
