my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
