Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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