he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
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When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
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Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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