How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
