i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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