i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
