She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
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I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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